I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
