Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
