All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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