How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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