he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
