we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
