found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
