i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
