I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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