11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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