wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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