Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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