party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
