i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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