I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My balls are so social today.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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