I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
