when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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