dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize