Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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