What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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