Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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