he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
