We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
