Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
