Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
