there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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