if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
