Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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