I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
