Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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