I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Two words: nipple clamps
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