This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
