1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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