I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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