it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
