sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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