What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
