UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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