he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
