I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
