I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
