My friends, they love my intelligence
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I got inside last night via doggy door
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize