We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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