just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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