Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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