Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
