Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
