TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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