big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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