Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
