It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
