If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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