i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
