worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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