She said her name was "party"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
