How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize