Buhtt sex?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
