it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
