Only a mothe r could love this liver
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
