ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
