Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
