And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
